Survive the Holidays with this ONE SIMPLE QUESTION.

Posted Dec 8th, 2016 in Overcoming Perfectionism and Failure

Survive the Holidays with this ONE SIMPLE QUESTION.

You've been talking and I've been listening.

Once December hits, overwhelm sets in.

But perhaps you were overwhelmed even before the holidays.

That used to be me.

As a classic people pleaser, not only did I lose my sanity, but I lost myself.

I was run off of my feet and the only thing at the end of the day that calmed me down was either wine or food.

It wasn't until I found myself 60lbs overweight, unhappy, and making New Years Resolutions that I'd never keep,

That I took a long, hard look at the decisions I was making.

Going overboard with food and wine over the week of Christmas and New Years wasn't just asking what feels good.

It was pretty bad.

So bad I never identified what it was.

Binging without purging (not like anorexia or the opposite with bulimia), is actually that last form of an eating disorder.

It's easier to stuff down emotions with food and alcohol,

Then it is to face the stress and drama that the holidays can sometimes bring.

Fast forward two years, and now this holiday time is my absolute favorite with nothing else but pure joy and happiness with my family.

We take trips, I am prepped and planned with gifts wrapped weeks in advance,

I am mindful and in the best shape of my life without feeling like I'm depriving myself.

There is no drama. (Cue Mary Blidge!)

So what changed?

Instead of asking what feels good? Or what is right?

I started asking,

What's good FOR ME?

Instead of making performance goals such as having to decorate the most perfect tree, pick the most perfect gifts, and stay 100% on track with my health,

I started making LEARNING goals.

What's good for me?

~ Having compassion instead of criticism for myself when I eat too many cookies.

~ Scheduling my workouts so they are non-negotiable.

~ Getting to bed on time so I can get up early to make breakfast and workout.

~ Asking family for Christmas lists and setting dates to go shopping.

~ Realizing that my house doesn't have to be perfect because family and memories are more important than how my house looks.

~ Saying no to the endless treats and expectations at work to eat them.

~ Realizing that people are doing their best and perhaps don't mean to hurt our feeling.

~ Emotionally detaching from food and alcohol.

~ Focusing on what I do have instead of what I don't have.

Before stress, drama, unhappiness, doubt, or criticism can set in, I ask

Is this GOOD for ME?

Perhaps you can try it to?

*And if you want to dig a little bit deeper for 15 minutes a day for 7 days, I can teach you how to master your morning and rock your routine not only over the holidays, but everyday. Check it out here.*

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