Why I Believe Guilt Isn't Helpful

Posted Mar 28th, 2017 in Overcoming Perfectionism and Failure

Why I Believe Guilt Isn't Helpful

Mom Guilt! Oh the pain.

For doing our workouts, for leading team calls, for working long hours, taking a class, missing bedtime.

People Pleasing Guilt!

For not volunteering more, for saying no to an opportunity, for taking store bought cookies to the school bake sale.

Not Enough Sex Guilt!

I love my hubby, but DANG, some nights this stressed out mom is TIRED.

And most nights we have a co-sleeping toddler kicking us in the back and head.

Judge me if you will,

I should put more time and attention to my marriage,

I should have my toddler sleep in his bed.

Trust me, I'm tireless working at it, and doing my very best.

Isn't that what we're all doing?

I said many things that I'd never do as a wife and mom, and guess what...

I did them all!

OH YES I DID--- the picking work over family, taking my marriage for granted, endless screen time so I could get my sanity back, and co-sleeping.

I am FARRRRRRR from perfect, so don't let my selfie taking mania of the good moments of my life fool you.

I really believe NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, has this thing called LIFE and PARENTING and MARRIAGE all figured out.

Some will say guilt is helpful.

It means we have a conscience.

It means we are self-assessing right from wrong.

And in theory it stops us from self-sabotaging.

But does it really?

Does the guilt about eating 5 cookies fix our emotional eating?

Does the guilt about rolling over when our husband puts on the moves make us want to have more sex?

Does the guilt about taking that conference call make us hug our kids tighter?

I'm not sure it does.

I don't actually think guilt is helpful.

I think integrity and operating from a place of love is.

So if you're feeling guilty, I ask, what are you missing in your life that you so desperately need?

When I choose to take a conference call in place of spending time with my family, it's usually because I'm feeling the need to be needed.

When I neglect my husbands needs, it's usually because I'm missing connection.

When I eat the 5 cookies, it's usually because I'm missing comfort.

And when I go workout and stick to my routine, it's because I'm needing consistency and balance in this sometimes absolutely insane, crazy, amazing life that I've created for myself and my family.

Most times when we make a decision, it's because we are assessing what we need in our life.

So instead of focusing on what you don't have,

Go out and cultivate what you do!

Create the connection, and love, and purpose that you want to feel.

There is nothing more empowering than a woman knowing what she wants and not being afraid to go get it.

So go Empowered EntreprenHER!


I promise the struggle and insane days are worth it, and in case no one told you, you're doing a GREAT JOB!

*For more inspiration and how to's about changing the course of your life, you can purchase my book HERE!*

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