Why "I Can't" is A Forbidden Word in Our Home

Posted Apr 28th, 2018 in Blog, Confidence, Owning Your Choices, Overcoming Perfectionism and Failure


Staring at my son climbing these semi-dangerous bars at the park, with my hands below his bum just in case,

He turned around and yelled at me,

"Mommy GO! I can do THIS!"

I couldn't help but recognize what a massive change from last year, when we were at this same park, with these same bars,

And my son used to cling on for dear life saying,

"I cannnnn'tttttttt!"

You see, there is a difference between can't and won't.

There is a difference between can't and I presently struggle with.

In my house, can't is like a bad word.

Because words don't have meaning without context.

Let me explain.

I'm getting ready for a date night with my husband, and as I come down the stairs, a little more sassed up than usual he says,

"Hey sexy.."

I smile and enjoy the playful flirting.

But if I walk into a restaurant and the waiter comes to our table and says,

"Hey sexy, may I get you a drink?"

In shock and anger, I wouldn't have the same response.

Same words, but very, very different context.

That's why we are careful with our chosen words.

To me the words "I can't" limits ability.

But it's not just that ability in that moment. It's a belief about oneself.

Or a pass to get out of trying. 

I can't climb on those bars, leads to I can't clean my room, I can't get algebra, I can't stand up for myself, I can't write a book....

How many assumptions in our own ability have we proved wrong?

How many times have we doubted our ability and it got us what we wanted in life?

The doubt's and the can't never win.

"I will try, I presently struggle with, one day I will.."

Or even the choice of " I don't want to, or I won't" is very different than I can't.

You always have a choice.

So don't shy away from the bars you have to climb in your life.

Take it one step at a a time, and know that an encouraging hand is only one call or message away.


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