Underestimate me, That'll be fun.
I never identified with that quote, but this past week,
The "gentlemen's club" put me in an interesting position.
As my husband, a fellow male peer, and myself were waiting for another gentlemen to get on our business call,
We realized he was late and we'd better give him a call.
My husband Eric picked up the phone,
"Hey is (we'll call him Ted) Ted there?
It's (We'll call the fellow male peer Joe) Joe and Eric, and we have a call scheduled with him now."
I looked back at the screen in dismay.
HELLO? ME? YOUR WIFE? SITTING HERE? WITH YOU TWO?
JOE AND ERIC.
HI, YA.. ME.
The whole reason why we have this deal is because of my contact and collaboration.
My husband is an incredibly supportive guy, but we had a little marital spat on the video call because as soon as he got off this phone I said,
"Excuse me... and I not HERE?"
It made me realize that while some men are purposely dismissive of women, some men, like my husband are literally just clueless.
Eric and the other guy laughed about it.
"Well.. no.. I figured because I was calling, and he knows Joe.. that's why I said that."
I've never worked in corporate America, and I've never dealt with that before...
But FUCK THAT.
That is not OK.
As women we're told we're too emotional, we make too big a deal out of things, we blow things out of proportion.
A few days later, an email from Joe gets sent to Eric,
"Hey I have another job for you, building a landing page, let me know when you can hop on a call."
I remind you that before the collaboration with Eric and I, Joe and I did the heavy lifting together on two calls building the affiliate collaboration and working relationship.
WE (ERIC AND I) own the company together. We build together. We strategize together. WE are both integral parts.
YOU? JUST YOU?
This time my ever so loving husband cc'ed me, as he knows we come as a package deal.
I warned him about this little boys club that's forming.
As I'm being asked now to set up the meetings, send out invites to calendars... secretarial work.
I'm all for the future is female, equal rights, and opportunity.
But when I thought of feminism, I pictured radical women raising hell.
Nope. I'm fully understanding this term now.
It's women who say FUCK THAT.
Or at least that's MY spin on it.
Enough is enough.
So today, I meditated, sat by my salt lamp, and I did something I rarely do.
I took note of all the ways I've stepped into the arena and fought for what I have today in my business and my life.
If you're not down for some real life shit, then you should just stop reading now.
- I fought countless doctors and midwives who wanted to sign me up for a C-section from 32 weeks on with Oliver because of their inability to deliver a breech baby. Because a c-section is more convenient around Christmas.
- I surrendered to an emergency C-section when I was two pushes away from delivering Oliver, because he was breech, and entering this world feet first. Allowed myself to be exposed, cut open, alone, scared so our son could be "safe." Because at that point no one was worrying about me.
- I then took that year of "Canadian mat leave" to raise a newborn AND build my online fitness business. Breastfeed. Work. Time with Oliver. Oliver naps. Work. Repeat.
- I took 8 years of my savings, 42K to invest it all in Brendon Burchard's mastermind, and a take a HUGE RISK in growing my business.
- I've then said YES to Mel Abraham, Bo Eason, 2 Best Selling Book deals, and worked my ASS OFF for the past 5 years to learn and position myself as an expert. It's been 16 hour days, lots of coffee, and endless work.
- I said YES to speaking on stage in Texas, Santa Barbara, Toronto, and hosting weekly workshops, all while still working a full time nursing contract.
- I built (am building) OUR business while working full time, maintaining the household, volunteering at Oliver's school, coordinating sporting activities, getting new clients and leads, making time for friendships, working on my own fitness and health, cooking healthy meals, maintaining the gardens, packing Oliver's suitcase when we have to travel, doing the dishes.. the list goes on.
Forgive me as I validate myself, on the page in front of you, but that's what we need to do for ourselves.
As a working mom, we're expected to parent like we don't work, and work like we don't have to parent.
So I'm sorry not sorry boys,
But some women run circles around some of you.
(and shout out to the stay at home dads, working dads, involved dads, men and yes.. my amazing husband.. or where this role is flipped.)
But it's time for bullshit like this to stop.
Ladies, don't be afraid to speak your truth.
Let them call you dramatic, irrational, or whatever you want.
Keep going. Keep building. Keep taking chances. Keep getting your ass kicked in the arena.
Stay focused on YOU and YOUR GOALS.
We ARE making change in this world.
It's time to show men what being a women really means.
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