Overcoming the Silent Destroyer Of Our Marriage

Posted Jun 25th, 2019 in Testimonials, Blog, Confidence, Owning Your Choices, Overcoming Perfectionism and Failure

Overcoming the Silent Destroyer Of Our Marriage

"Things have to change."

We'd sit at the kitchen table or crawl into bed exhausted from the day.

"We don't spend any time together."

And slowly and slowly our "for better or worse..." union was starting to grow apart.

WE our soul mates.

But I often found myself saying,

"It's hard keeping up with this financial boom in business. Lots of clients, lots of work, lots to do."

Eric would say,

"It's hard with no help for Oliver. We have to find a reliable sitter and some help around the house."

We'd both think,

"God we're so busy."

Not realizing that neither one of us was taking ownership.

"We...You..." 

Those kinds of words make it seem like everyone in the world shares these same struggles, but the reality is, 

Maybe they don't.

Maybe there are couples that are rocking business, and parenting, and marriage and don't struggle at all.

What I do know is that once we started changing our language, everything drastically changed.

At our healing retreat last week in the Bahamas, we talked about conscious language.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Make no mistake I have an INCREDIBLE marriage.

I rarely fight with Eric, and I do, I fight fair and communicate.

I run our business together and almost always see eye to eye about decisions.

I go on trips with Eric, masterminds, vacations, and I attend everything for Oliver from school drop off and pick up to his sports with Eric by my side.

But not speaking up, and spending time together was secretly sabotaging the deepest connection we could have.

I started saying,

"I don't make time for you at the end of the day, and I'm going to change that. I will stop working at 6pm."

Instead of saying,

"It's exhausting working all day and taking care of Oliver and the house. Can't you understand I'm exhausted?"

Eric would say,

"I don't speak up for what I need from you, because I assume I'm going to upset you. I'm changing that."

And a breakthrough happened. We talked in depth every night for an entire week.

And... maybe we made a Bahamian baby... we've been manifesting her.... so we'll see :).

Now back at home,

Eric's found some help for us.

I'm shutting work down at 6pm.

It's amazing the ownership you take when you say "I"

Instead of growing farther apart, we've re-created a space together in which we are so deeply connected.

And it changed because of our language.

It changed because our of accountability.

I'm so thankful for my mentor Lou Corleto, who taught me about conscious language this past week.

How will you start changing the way you speak to your partners, clients, kids, and everyone you come on contact with?

Your words are so powerful, use them well. 

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