Most people think that narcissism is taking too many selfies, but it's not that innocent.
A narcissist is controlling, has to always be right, lacks empathy and doesn't want to see your point of view,
AND doesn't like to be challenged or questioned. They will lash out and distract you from the real reason why you're upset in the first place.
They'll lure you in and then ignore you, charm the pants off others, and change their story to make you the bad guy.
Simply put, you can't win with a narcissist and they will drive you crazy in the process if you engage.
It's all a part of their narcissistic supply.
And this past week I decided it was time for me to cut if off.
Whether it's dealing with a narcissistic parent, client, spouse, care provider, co-worker, boss or peer, it's important to know how to navigate dealing with them. I'm no expert but when threats and demands were thrown my way, I knew I needed to get help.
A previous mentor of mine, Brendon Burchard states,
"People on a path of purpose, don't have time for drama."
Ain't that the truth!?
You can't try to prove that a narcissist is not who they appear to be. That's like running into a cross fire unarmed.
Others will think you're the crazy one, bad mouthing the person to prove a point, and the fire will be aimed back at you. Because the noble narcissist appears so charming, good doing, caring for others.
I sat with my options for a bit. Respond and tell them they were making up stories that were untrue? Tell them to F-off? Apologize and keep the peace? I finally decided the only person that I needed to apologize to was myself and to do NOTHING back.
I'm sorry that I betrayed myself by:
- Having loose boundaries and not trusting my gut to walk away sooner
- Holding back my truth to keep the peace which attracted the narcissist in the first place
- Feeling like I needed to be fixed, healed, and put back together when I have all the power to heal myself.
- Engaging in the game, not realized all the while it was making me feel worse and exacerbate skin, gut, and breathing issues
- Trusting too quickly and not being cautious with a new group of people
- Not loving myself enough and making time to process my emotions
As I've been watching videos, reading research articles, and talking to experts, the antidote is always the same,
- Radical self love
- Strong enforced boundaries
- Getting comfortable with conflict
- Surrounding yourself and filling your headspace with those who hold space, champion, positively challenge, and celebrate you.
If you need me in these next two months, that's exactly what I'll be doing until 2020.
It's an exciting time as our Infinite Design House and Sales Booster agency is busier than ever, but these next two months are about growing business and brands and clearing out anything that I don't want to carry into the next decade.
And if you take nothing else away from this blog, I want you to know....You matter.
Feeling like your next launch HAS to work? Like all of your worth and proof is in your business? Like if you don't get the result you want, it PROVES your worst nightmare will come true. That's how I used to feel and I can tell you, it's a recipe for disaster. Let's have a chat to change how you feel and what your right next move will be. Fill out a custom proposal here.