Why I'm Letting Go Instead of Finishing Strong for 2019

Posted Dec 4th, 2019 in Testimonials, Blog, Confidence, Owning Your Choices, Overcoming Perfectionism and Failure

Why I'm Letting Go Instead of Finishing Strong for 2019

There are X amount of days left in this decade! Finish strong! It's go time! 

You've probably heard this buzz circling around social media lately. 

The pressure to produce, perfect, and go hard. You may be feeling this time crunch and not want to be left with unfinished business.

HOW will I get it all done?

But how is a losing question.

I can remember standing in the middle of the circle, after delivering my 3-minute signature story, nervous as hell. I over-preformed it, over-produced it, and wanted to get it just right.

My mentor looked at me and said something to the effect of....

"What helped you survive, isn't what you need now. You need to let go. You need to let others help you. You need to just be you."

And I looked at him and said, "How."

How is a losing question, he said.

How means you want a way out. Because you don't believe that you can.

So I left that mastermind in a search of 'Who Am I', and the more I practiced my speeches and presentations, the better they got. Because I had nothing to prove. I had nothing to convince others. Turns out in adulthood, perfection and achievement aren't the only way to get love.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother with borderline personality disorder, I had to shape shift, bury my feelings, and turn into exactly what she wanted, which could change by the second, to keep her happy. Forget validation. I didn't know the first thing about expression. I was too busy trying to figure out HOW to be what everyone else wanted. 

And when I finally chose to walk away from that toxic relationship, the smear campaign started, and I had to try to prove to my extended family that my reality was the truth. My reality was very different than the side they saw. It left me exhausted. So I stopped. There comes a time when you have to ask, "What do I want?"

As 2019 ends, I want you to change the question.

What do you need to let go of in order to finish strong?

It's not about the to do's, the lists, the achievements; it's not about the how.

For me it's letting go of the weight of:

  • Expectations
  • Demands
  • Assumptions
  • The relationships that could be and should be (two other losing words)
  • The pressure to succeed
  • The pressure to be the perfect (insert role: mom, wife, entrepreneur, friend, daughter)
  • Saying yes to others and no to myself
  • Manipulation of my feelings for other's benefit
  • Not charging what I'm worth

These are all choices I've made and I'm taking personal responsibility to change.

And I'm giving up the thoughts that everyday should be flow and ease.

Stepping into your full expression can be scary and challenging, vulnerable and fierce, but it's the only choice you have. The quicker you realize it, the quicker you'll get on the right path and it won't be about achievement. It won't be about finishing strong.

It will be about finishing at the pace you set, with the things that matter, when it's meant to happen. When all of your hard work comes to full fruition. Not because you forced it to meet a deadline.

But some elbow grease never hurt along the way.

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Need a business plan for 2020? Email me to set up a time to talk!

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