Confidence can be whatever you want it to be.
My Peloton instructor Robin Arzon calls it swagger.
My mentor Bo Eason calls it domination.
My healer and friend Susan calls it boundaries.
I call it lighting up the room with your presence and leaving it better than how you found it.
8:55 am, I walked out of the CHCH news studio with Oliver, who was 6 months old, and my husband, Eric by my side BEAMING. I just SMASHED a news segment about online fitness, working out from home, and making quick pockets of time to workout as a new mom.
It was my first time on a live TV and all I could think about was how I wanted to go back and do it again! The segment would be live at 11am.
They said go home, go about your day, and check back. It was PERFECT! I fed Oliver, put him down for a nap, and settled in to open up my computer. 11:01, clicked in, and there it was.
"Wait, what? She's a nurse and fitness trainer? Shouldn't she LOOK more fit? I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be taking advice from HER"
Hot tears streamed down my face and it they landed on my belly.
My postpartum, post c-section belly, and all I felt was shame.
I wanted to run up to our bedroom, bury my face in the pillow, and not come out for a few days. But I couldn't risk waking the baby.
I'd love to tell you that I cursed that person out, blew it off, knew my worth, rose above, and didn't let it phase me.
For a week, I cried. I swore I'd never go back on TV, go live on social media, or take on any new clients.
Until the phone rang.
"Hi Lisa. I saw you on CHCH. I don't know how else to say this and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but... you're.. normal. And.. I love what you said on your segment. You're happy, and inspiring, and I want to work with you. Are you taking on fitness and nutrition clients?"
I knew what she meant. I didn't have rock hard abs. I wasn't shouting with a whistle around my neck. I didn't require before and after pictures, weigh ins, measurements or anything that my clients didn't want to do. We measured progress differently like energy, how our clothing fit, and confidence.
I know that you've heard that confidence is an inside job. Confidence is an attitude. Confidence is a knowing.
Confidence is OWNING IT in the right here and now. Not what you did back in 82' and not I'll do better next time or be happier when.
I went on that TV segment OWNING my body at the stage it was in, after not putting pressure on myself to bounce back to my pre-baby body by a certain date (if ever), and with a mindset of service.
Someone out there needed to hear my message, and that call validated that it got where it needed to land.
I don't play in the health and fitness space anymore, and Oliver is now 6, but I give this same confidence coaching to my clients when filming live videos, speaking, online courses, group coaching, and sales videos.
I tell them:
1. Your perceived imperfections make you interesting. Stop apologizing for them!
The thing that causes you the most shame, is actually your superpower. The thing you survived. The person or thing you birthed. What you overcame, what you walked away from, how you responded...that's the vulnerability cherry on top of the awesome sundae that you are.
Stop thinking you aren't enough right here and now. You have PROOF that you're capable, beautiful, and needed. Could you image the revolution we'd start if we all loved ourselves right here and now? When you start to say, "I'm sorry.." catch yourself. Don't be sorry for your swagger, your energy, your boundaries.
2. They already love you, they just haven't met you yet. Say that 5x before speaking.
That's the mantra I used to tell myself before I got on stage to speak. I knew that when I started focusing on ME, I was sunk. So I start to think about the audience. What parts of myself did I need to share? What stories would get them to MOVE? What teaching would be the most impactful? I took the focus off my looks and focused more on the value I could provide.
3. Get grounded to elevate.
Epsom salt baths at night, walking with my feet on the grass, stepping on a rock or ball to open up my feet; these are the things I do before every live video, speech, podcast, webinar, or event to connect me to myself. We tend to live in our heads when we have to carry out a big task, but the best stuff comes when we lead with our hearts. Our body knows, our gut know, our instinct know what to do. We have to learn to trust it, and from there confidence grows.
You can do this! You can get visible in your business and share more of yourself than ever before. You can teach with more impact, you can serve with depth of implementation and inspirational stories. I'll teach you how.
My 1 hour mini course, How to Rock Facebook Live With Confidence is only $49.00. This week only, if you join by Wednesday, May 20th. You'll get a VIP group coaching call where you can ask me anything about your business.