"I watched your story and it didn't have any impact on me. It was ' I am Lisa, look how strong I am, I want you to know that I struggled, but now I'm good. I have it all together, and I want you to as well.' Ouch. The story expert coach was right.
The way you present yourself on a stage, video, meeting, at the gym, in the bedroom, wherever you are aiming for greatness, you need an alter ego to play. Beyonce flips to Sasha Fierce when she wants to, Stefani Germanotta puts on meat dresses when she's Lady Gaga, and I'm pretty sure Madonna isn't walking around in her cone shape bras at home, but that becomes their reality. That's their part in the arena, when they have to play.
We worry. That we aren't smart enough. That we don't know enough people. That we aren't fit enough. That we are screwing up our kids. That people are judging us. That our business is a failure. That we don't have enough clients. That we will sound stupid. That we will make a mistake. That we will lose money. All of these potential worries stops us from building the body we want and the business we want.
Vulnerability can suck, but it can also be a beautiful way to connect. To let people only see the highlight reel, with social media and statuses and filters is selfish. We expect perfection and if we don't have it, we feel less than. We feel insignificant. But once you've created a dream for your life, you have to expect that you've also created the barriers because you had the courage to let it be known.
A huge myth in business is that you have to grow a "following." A following isn't what you need. Followers never take action. They spectate. Criticize. Idolize. One minute they love you, the next, hate you. Then they've moved onto the next person to "follow." And where they go and their opinion doesn't matter. Your concern should be if the people around you ever take action.
You see, hurt people, hurt people. But you can't take it personal. Haters used to destroy me. Growing up as a people pleaser, I was WRECKED if someone didn't like me. In fact, I wanted people to like me so much that I forgot who I was. I forgot what I wanted. I forgot about my own needs and my health. Forget path of purpose, I didn't think that far. And it costs me a lot of time, happiness, and memories.
As a wellness and business coach, I eat right. I exercise. I sleep, (most nights that my four year old doesn't interrupt from a potty training accident, or I awake from my husband's snoring). I read personal development books, and listen to podcasts that fuel my brain. I'm a savage learner of all things content, technology, launches, marketing and digital strategies in the online space. How could my body and mind be so full, yet I felt so malnourished?
It's not your products, it's not your logo, or even your intellectual property. It's not making sure you're productive. We grind in our business worrying if we're doing enough. Are we ticking things off our lists, balancing our books, learning enough. Are we positioning ourselves enough and saying the right things? It's not learning, positioning, productivity, products. (Although they are insanely important.) The number one asset in business, is what my 4 year old likes to call adults, "Humans.
The life of your business, through it's ebbs and flows, through teammates, product launches, and ideas, You can count on one thing. You are in control of what you offer your ideal clients.